So I kind of skipped a day...oops.

My bad. I don't really know why I missed blogging yesterday. I thought of doing it but just...didn't. Hmm...oh well.

Let's see... what's been going on the past two days?

((--I should mention I tend to have HORRIBLE memory retention. =/ ))

WEDNESDAY:
-Off from work. Not my typical or even WANTED day off. I hate being off during the middle of the week. I definitely enjoy having my Mondays off. It's that sense of having a "long weekend" that I enjoy. The random break in the middle of the week just doesn't work out for me.
-5&1/2 hours of non-stop PSP gaming. Yeah, I really enjoy my video games. Any and all systems or platforms. All genres and types. I love em all. New school or old school. Yum.
-Went to a few photography stores with my ex. I am a novice photographer but I really enjoy and am enthusiastic about it. I have been kind of slacking at it lately. I have to get my butt back in gear and get back out there taking pictures of the world. Every picture I don't take is an oportunity missed.
-Spent the night with her till about 7pm. Just hung out, ate some food, took the shortest nap. Then went home.
-Went back to play PSP. Again, I love video games.
-Went back to the ex's around 1am. She couldn't sleep and wanted me to keep her company for a bit. Ended up staying the night there and woke up the next day and went home at 7am.

THURSDAY:
-Work from 8:45am till 6:15pm. Nothing exciting.
-Home at 6:30pm and played PSP as usual. Video games = my life. sad.
-Friend called me and stopped by around 8pm and we talked for almost 2 hours. Talked about whats been going on in our lifes lately, relationships and such. Became kinda emotional...we both miss our ex's. =[
-Stayed up till about 1:30am playing PSP and talking to people online. I have a hard time sleeping at night. It's become a bad habit lately.
-Woke up at 3:00am and talked to the "wifey." Wifey= friend of mine from NIU. Bit of an inside joke. =] she's funny.
-Fell back asleep around 3:30.

Past two days haven't been anything too exciting. Oh well. So goes life.

The comfort you give

I now know why I enjoy being with you so much. I have no other worries about me, I lose all stress and aggrivation. Everything just comes so easily when I'm with you and I feel like I could do anything. I love to see you smile and listen to you laugh. I love to just get lost in your eyes. I could spend every waking moment with you, even if not a single word was whispered between us. The air around you feels, smells, and tastes that much fresher. You're all that matters to me anymore.

When I'm away from you, I feel unsure of myself. I dont find enjoyment in my old activities. I don't really feel like talking to other people because what they say doesn't seem to matter anymore. My heart and body feel cold when they are away from you. I seem to have less energy and no motivation to do anything. I hate my life when you aren't around.

I miss you. I need you. I love you. Always.

First thing in the morning

So as I sit here at work, eating Boston Creme Cake, I'm realizing that I really enjoy Matcha Green Tea Lattes. I've been enjoying those over the past few days when I feel a craving for something coffee-like. I've always been fond of tea, but sometimes I've just need something like coffee or a coffee-based latte of somesort, things with expresso really, to give me that boost to get through the day. So now I'm doing all I can to avoid coffee products all together. I haven't been doing so great but I'm not giving up! If I was able to become vegetarian pretty much overnight, I'm sure I can drop my coffee habit. Shouldnt be that hard to shake off something that I only had in a moderation as compared to meat, which I ate like every day.
Oh well... I'll come through in the end. I always do in whatever I put my mind to.

After the weekend

This was quite the weekend for myself, it's really been a while since I have "partied." Northern Illinois University had its homecoming game Saturday afternoon. I never made it to the ACTUAL game as the tailgating was more than enough for my friend Thalia, resulting in her getting sick and having to be taken back to our friends apartment. She ended up resting from about 6PM till 2AM. I also fell asleep for a few hours because my other friend Vanessa had decided to check her Facebook allowing me to get bored and pass out on the floor.
I woke a few hours later, around 9pm, confused as to where I was and where Vanessa was. I checked my phone and saw I had 2 new voicemails. I listened to them, recieving the directions to her current location. I got up and headed out to the destination, reaching it in about 10 minutes. The entire walk I was giving myself some kind of 'self-pity pep-talk.' Thank god no one was around to listen to it. It was rather pathetic.
Finally reaching my destination and finding Vanessa, we stayed a few minutes at the frat house leaving shortly after my arrival to go to another house party. The latter was far better then the original destination. Plenty of people, music, dancing, drinking and laughing. I also learned that some people really should not drink, and if they decide to, be limited to what they consume. I was honestly slightly scared for my life when this one moron came around, waving a Sprite can and an EXTREMELY large bottom of Vodka around. He was around for a while, coming and going from that house and the house next door.
At one point, while outside, I said hi to these two girls sitting on the curb smoking in front of one of the houses. I had noticed them when they first arrived to the party but did not pay much attention to them until they were outside smoking and had acknowledged me, which surprised me. After returning the greeting they complimented my hat and how they really liked it. That really made my night and put a smile on my face, the first genuine one in a while. So that initiated some conversation between us, which was nice considering I hadnt ever really done that with anyone in a long time, if ever. Long story short though, I only got 1 of the girls names, and only her first name at that; Jessica. But thats all the information I got which was unfortunate because it would have been nice to have had some new friends to talk to or even see if something else could come up in the future. Regardless, it was a nice self-esteem boost.
But that was all that really happened. Let's hope I maybe have some more self-esteem boosting events happening. I need it more than people realize right now.

First of hopefully many to come

Well, I'm at work currently just waiting for half an hour to pass so I can get out of here.
Agenda for tonight?
Go to La Spiaza in Wheaton with Anne.
Gonna get some revenge in poker! >:D
Its a great place to go on a Friday or Saturday night because of the live music they have playing.
Its always nice to hear 'local' talent for free.
I'm hoping I get to spend the whole night with her since it'll be the last time I get to really see her and spend time with her since she'll be starting school monday and her schedule is very hectic. I feel bad for her.

I've got a lot on my mind though. And the thoughts span many fields of life..
So overall, i'd say i'm just pondering about life.
I feel like a majority of things haven't been going the way they should be and it's really got me kind of bummed.
But I'll just have to deal. These kinds of "bumps" in life come and go. We all handle them differently. And I think that sometimes some of us let it bring us as far down as possible, so we can build ourselves back up stronger than before!
That's me.

Anyway, time to start closing up my station.
I'll try to post atleast once a day in this. Thats my new goal.
That way I can look back and see how I've "hopefully" grown.
=]